Tuesday, March 29, 2011
4:25 PM | Posted by The Blogger Formerly Known As Lvka | | Edit Post
During the summer of 2001, Eszterhas was diagnosed with throat cancer. His doctors worked to remove 80 per cent of his larynx and told him to immediately quit drinking and smoking. Eszterhas was 56. He lived a wild lifestyle and knew that changing his habits would not be easy.
On a day Eszterhas describes as “hellishly hot,” he was walking through a tree-lined neighborhood when he realized he had hit rock-bottom.
Eszterhas described his frame of mind: "I was going crazy. I was jittery. I twitched. I trembled. I had no patience for anything. … Every single nerve ending was demanding a drink and a cigarette.”
He sat on the curb and began to cry. In between fits of crying he began to pray, “Please God, help me.” He hadn’t prayed since he was a child. "I couldn't believe I'd said it. I didn't know why I'd said it. I'd never said it before," he wrote.
God reached out His hand
Eszterhas was immediately overwhelmed with peace. His twitching stopped. He no longer trembled. He saw a "shimmering, dazzling, nearly blinding brightness that made me cover my eyes with my hands." Similar to Saul seeing a blinding light on his way to Damascus, Eszterhas had seen the light of Christ.
Eszterhas described the experience as “absolutely overwhelming."
He went from doubting if he could make it through life without tobacco and alcohol, to knowing that he could "defeat myself and win."
After years of smut and violence, Joe Eszterhas says he found God one hot summer day in 2001 as he desperately battled to survive throat cancer and his addictions to alcohol and cigarettes.
“I didn’t even really know how to pray,” Eszterhas writes in his upcoming book Crossbearer: A Memoir of Faith. “I didn’t know what to say, so one of the first things I said was ‘I’m sorry. I’ve acted like a colossal A-hole. I’m really, really sorry. I don’t deserve to be forgiven, but please try to forgive me.’”
In their effort to prolong Eszterhas’ life, doctors at the Cleveland Clinic removed 80 percent of his larynx, put a tracheotomy tube in his throat, and told him he must quit drinking and smoking immediately.
While Eszterhas wanted to change his ways, after a lifetime of wild living, the 56-year-old Hungarian native knew it would be a struggle to do so. And it was.
In the summer of 2001, Eszterhas reached a breaking point and for the first time since he was a child, he prayed for God’s help.
"I was going crazy. I was jittery. I twitched. I trembled. I had no patience for anything. … Every single nerve ending was demanding a drink and a cigarette," he writes in Crossbearer.
After his prayer, however, he felt an overwhelming peace.
It was "an absolutely overwhelming experience," he recalled to the Toledo Blade earlier this month.
Eszterhas went from doubting if he could make it through life without tobacco and alcohol to knowing that he could "defeat myself and win."
Labels: Addiction - Idolatry - Spiritual Struggle, Church Calendar, Fasting, Lvka, Morality, Protestantism, Roman Catholicism
Eventhough the Council of Carthage was a local North African Council it became Universal when the decrees were added to the 6th ecumenical ...
There were two views, one would later be declared heretical while the other Orthodox. Taken from the book " "Church History, Vol...
The central tenet of Orthodox sotieriology is the incarnation of the Lord Jesus Christ. Every other part of Orthodoxy stems from it. Clark ...
God “Pleased to Punish?” Isaiah 53 in the Septuagint Aug15 by Vincent Martini
Something written three years ago on Ancient Christian Defense This is from a conversation I had with a Calvinist. Some of them try to us...
- A Biblical Defence of Orthodoxy (13)
- A Defense of the Holy Icons (10)
- Abortion (3)
- About Us (14)
- Absolute Divine Simplicity (2)
- Addiction - Idolatry - Spiritual Struggle (37)
- Apocrypha (4)
- apologetics (3)
- Apophatic Theology (1)
- Articles (6)
- Asceticism (1)
- Atheism (10)
- Atonement (23)
- Audio (6)
- Books (19)
- Calvinism (50)
- Canon of Scripture (8)
- Christmas Carols (4)
- Christology (28)
- Church Calendar (104)
- Church Fathers (66)
- Church History (26)
- Cyrillian Chalcedonianism (1)
- David (4)
- Debates (8)
- Double Standard (40)
- Eastern Orthodoxy NOT Refuted (6)
- Ecclesiology (5)
- Eschatology (6)
- Essence and Energies (2)
- Eucharist (10)
- Exegesis (18)
- Fasting (80)
- Fathers and Sola Scriptura (13)
- Fathers on Free Will (6)
- Fathers on the Eucharist (3)
- Feminism (6)
- Filoque (1)
- Hell (9)
- Heretical Christology (4)
- Heretical Triadology (1)
- Holy Spirit (1)
- Homosexuality (2)
- hypostasis (7)
- Icons (19)
- Is Eastern Orthodoxy Christian? (2)
- Islam (13)
- Jehovah's Witnesses (6)
- jnorm (12)
- Judaism (14)
- Justification (19)
- Kabane52 (8)
- Lvka (197)
- Martyrdom (17)
- Mary (8)
- Miscellaneous (131)
- Monothelitism (1)
- Morality (33)
- Mormonism (1)
- Myths (3)
- Old Calendarism (3)
- Original Sin (2)
- Orthodox (9)
- Pages (9)
- Patristics (1)
- Philosophy and Politics (12)
- Prayer (11)
- Prayers to the Saints (2)
- Predestination (5)
- Prosperity Gospel (4)
- Protestantism (206)
- quotes (1)
- Rebuttals (10)
- Relics (1)
- Resources (28)
- Roman Catholicism (20)
- Romans (3)
- Romans Chapter 9 (5)
- Sacraments (19)
- Schismatics (4)
- Scripture (2)
- Sola Fidea (1)
- Sola Scriptura (25)
- Soteriology (1)
- Theotokos (3)
- Tradition (8)
- Triadology (8)
- Video Resources (14)
- Videos (30)
THUS SAITH THE LORD
- The Hold That Passions Have On A Man
- Synergy in Christ According to Saint Maximus the C...
- The Heart of the Matter
- The Author of "Basic Instinct" Repents of a Life-T...
- What Does God Even Want From Us Anyway!?
- Kicking the Habit: The Struggle With Sin Continues...
- Embracing the Emo Subculture: Depressing Orthodox ...
- Why I'm Writing a Book
- Why the Mother of God was Ever-Virgin
- Al Pacino on God, Guilt, Fasting, Abstinence, and ...
- Tom Cruise On Lent, And Its Effects On People
- The First Words From The Savior's Lips:
- Protestants Are Right! The Orthodox Are Idolaters ...
- Second Sunday of Lent: Saint Gregory Palamas, Apop...
- What's Holding You Back?
- The Difference Between Orthodoxy and Jainism
- The Difference Between Lent And Ramadan
- Fasting = Castration + Evisceration
- If You Think Catholics Are Evil For Not Allowing T...
- Heaven as Hell: The Gospel According to Mark (Twai...
- Romans 9 and Reformed Theology
- Holy Scripture and the Church
- Why Orthodoxy is the True Faith (Extended Version)...
- "Atheism & Morality" Debate and Other Announcement...
- Halloween on the Old Calendar: When "Tales from th...
- Welcome on Board, Thom!
- The Joy of Lent !
- Apostolic Succession: The Pre-Augustinian View
- The First Two Rules Of Fasting
- Protestantism: Giving Up Fasting For Lent Since 15...
- The Faith that Established the Universe!
- Christ Refutes One of the Solas !
- What Would Jesus Do?
- Lenten Prayer of Saint Ephraim the Syrian
- Our One True God
- A Short Summary of Over Five Years of Apologetic E...
- Fasting: The Entrance-Gate Into A Sexless Eternity...
- ▼ March (37)
- ► 2010 (191)